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   How do you catch a unique rabbit?  Unique up on it!  How do you catch a tame rabbit?  The tame way!  Unique up on it!
   How do you tell an extrovert computer scientist? He looks at YOUR shoes when he talks to you
   How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?  One third less than it takes to change a regular bulb.
   How many fat acceptance advocates does it take to change a lightbulb?  Why change it? It's so round and luscious just the way it is!
   How many lawyer jokes are there?  Four.  The rest are all true stories.
   How many Martians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One and a half.
   How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  One, who gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing it to the earlier riddle
   How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?  None.  They just get Bill Gates to declare darkness the company standard.
   How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?  None--they don't bother with that short-wavelength stuff
   How many recovering co-dependents does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None.  The recovering co-dependent detaches and tells the lightbulb to screw itself.
   How many SysAdmins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  None.  They deny privileges to everyone with access to that room.
   How many usenetters does it take to change a lightbulb?  Read the FAQ
   How many writers does it take to change a light bulb?  Never mind that--let me tell you about MY light bulb
   If you eat Twinkies Lite, do you kill one third less people?  No, but you get a much lighter sentence
   Is there life before coffee? Yes, but not intelligent life
   What color is a chameleon on a mirror? The same color as the chameleon on the other side of the mirror
   What do macrobiotic cats eat?  Brown mice
   What do you get if you have thirteen witches in a hot tub?  A self-cleaning coven
   What do you get if you play New Age music backwards?  New Age music
   What does a sacred chao say?  MU!
   What goes "Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"?  A parroty error
   What played computer games so much it went extinct? The Nintendodo
   What's large, gray, and not to the point? An irrelephant
   What's seven feet tall and runs around the Himalayas with a light saber? A Yeti Knight
   What's the difference between a used car salesman and someone who sells computers? A used car salesman knows he's lying--and can drive
   What's the difference between MAGIC the Gathering (tm) and crack cocaine? You can get crack cocaine anywhere
   What's the difference between New Age and Neo-Pagan? About $500 a weekend
   What's vanilla, vanilla and vanilla? Ice cream clones
   Why are elves chaotic?  Brownian motion
   Why can't the Buddha vacuum under his sofa?  He has no attachments
   Why did Douglas Hofstadter cross the road?  To make this riddle possible
   Why is Cleopatra so resistant to therapy?  Because she is da Queen of da Nile
   What does a pagan do at a parking meter?  Reads the signs, calls the quarters, and pays tribute to Demeter
   How do you open the windows in an Eastern Orthodox church?  Click on the ikons
   What do you get if you cross a Unitarian and a Jehovah's Witness?  Someone who knocks on your door and asks, "Now what do *you* believe?"
   Which is correct, typos or typoes?  They're both wrong   
   What do Unitarians do when they're really mad at you?   They burn a question mark on your lawn  
   What do UU's and Dracula have in common? They both originate in Transylvania, and they both shy away from the cross  
   What do you call the guest of honor at a Unitarian funeral?  All dressed up and no place to go!  
   What sexually transmitted disease can you get from a hand puppet? The clap  
   How many T'ai Chi teachers does it take to change a light bulb? Ten, one to change the light bulb and nine to say, "At our school, we do it a little differently."
   How many copyeditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Do you mean "change a lightbulb" or "have sex in a lightbulb"? Please clarify.
   Which side of the Chunnel do the trains run on? The inside
   Why do crows tease cats? Just caws.
   What do you get if you cross a tse-tse fly with a mountain climber? Undefined. A tse-tse fly is a vector and a mountain climber is a scalar.  
   How many fans does it take to change a light bulb? One, but only after telling you their life story at 3AM in the con suite.
   Why are pirate jokes funny? They just ARRRRRR  
   How many Freudian psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two: one to screw in the light bulb, and the other to hold my penis-- er, my mother-- THE LADDER!
   Why are pirates so mean? They just arrrr!
   What's the difference between a sculptor and a hair dresser? A sculptor makes faces and busts, but a hair dresser just curls up and dyes
   What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
   Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't work
   Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't work

ADVICE
ANARCHY
ANGST
ANIME
ANTI-BUSH
THE ARTS
ATTITUDE, ARROGANCE, BOASTING
BABIES AND OTHER RELATIVES
BACKRUBS AND HUGS
BITCHINESS AND PMS
BOOKS
BUREAUCRACY
CAFFEINE
CATS
CHOCOLATE
COME ONS, TURNDOWNS, SEX, GENDER
COMPUTERS: General
COMPUTERS: Angst
COMPUTERS: Bugs
COMPUTERS: Dealing with Users
COMPUTERS: Jobs
COMPUTERS: Personal Computers (DOS, MAC, etc.)
COMPUTERS: Programming
COMPUTERS: Puns
COMPUTERS: Specific Languages (C, COBOL, OTHERS)
COMPUTERS: Unix and Related OS's
COMPUTERS: Email, social media, the web, and usenet
CROSSOVER
CTHULHU
CYNICISM
DISCORDIANISM
DOGS
DRINKING AND DRUGS
DRIVING
ELECTION 2004
FAERIE
FANDOM
FIBER ARTS
FIRST AMENDMENT
FANTASY
FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING
FOOD
IDEALISM
INSANITY
KINKY
LANGUAGE
LATENESS
L337 and LOLCAT
LEFT-HANDEDNESS AND DYSLEXIA
LIBRARIES
MAGIC: THE GATHERING
MATHEMATICS
MEDIA
MEDICAL
MEDIEVALISM
MILITARY AND WAR
MONEY
MOOD AND TEMPERAMENT
MORNINGS, SLEEP DEPRIVATION
MURPHY'S LAWS
MUSIC
9/11
NINJA
NUMBER OF THE BEAST
OBSCURE
PAGANISM
PARADOXES AND LOGIC
PIRATES
POLITICS
PUNS
PURPLE
REALITY
RELIGION
RIDDLES
SCHOOL
SCIENCE
SECOND AMENDMENT
SCIENCE FICTION
SICK HUMOR
SILLINESS
SMOKING AND NON-SMOKING
SONG PARODIES
SPACE
STRESS
UNITARIAN UNIVERSALISM
UNIVERSAL TRUTHS
VAMPIRES
VIOLENCE
VERY SECRET DIARIES
WEAPONS
WEIRDNESS
WORK
WRITING
ZOMBIES
MISCELLANEOUS

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